Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
