I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
