if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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