waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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