Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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