They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
