The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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