Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
