My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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