You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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