playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
