her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
