New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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