Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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