rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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