why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
