I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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