He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
