twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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