my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
