Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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