I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
