absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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