Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
