Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
