Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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