so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
