No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
