Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
