Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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