at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
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Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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