Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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