Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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