I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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