drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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