Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
