i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
