Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
