During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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