Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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