smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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