I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize