you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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