Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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