phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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