God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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