We're facebook friends in real life
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
