Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
