yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
