Moan for me like Helen Keller
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize