it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
high people should be assigned attendants
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You're like the curious george of whores
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
