I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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