New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
