He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
