Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
