I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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