I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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