I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
is that a dick in a sweater?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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