these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
