You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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