i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
