R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
