it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
